In modern Japanese, there are multiple speech levels as below:
- Respectful: Show respect to the person you are talking to/about by raising him/her
- Polite: Neither raising the person you are talking to/about nor humbling yourself, but just be polite as a good manner. This level is usually considered “neutral” in spoken language
- Humble: Show respect to the person you are talking to/about by lowering yourself
- Neutral: Neutral language is typically used only in written language as in literature or technical/legal writings. You will sound decidedly unnatural if you speak this way, and it will be very rude toward your seniors
- Casual: Informal languages that can be used toward your seniors in certain occasions
- Peer: Peer-level informal languages. Not showing respect nor showing any superiority, disdain
- Junior: Showing your seniority/superiority toward your juniors, without being condescending
- Disrespectful: Contemptuous, condescending, dismissing, aggressive, hostile, etc.
The above-mentioned levels create further compound levels. For example;
- Higher respect: You use respectful language when you address the person you are talking to, and on top of that, use humble language for yourself
- Moderate respect: You use respectful language when you address the person you are talking to, but you do not use humble language for yourself
In most of East Asia, someone who is older than you even by one year (using school year) is considered your “senior”, someone who is the same age with you is considered your “peer”, and someone who is younger than you, again even by one school year, is considered your “junior”. As a rule, you use respectful languages to your seniors, casual languages to your peers, casual and/or junior languages to your juniors, and polite languages to strangers.
One exception is your family. In modern Japanese families, children usually talk to their parents using casual languages.
If you grew up in the modern western culture, you must be rolling your eyes by now. The social seniority system is one of the most difficult and annoying aspects of the eastern Asian cultures to navigate. However if you are to speak proper Japanese, you cannot get away by just using the polite language. The polite language will be very rude toward your seniors (because you are just being “nice”, but in fact not showing any respect), too stiff toward your peers, and lacks authority toward your juniors. Many Japanese consider seniors SHOULD use commanding languages toward juniors to show proper authority, or they can be regarded as weak and ineffective as leaders.