Japanese extensively uses expressions “do for me” (along with “do for somebody“). The both of the below examples can be translated “he helped me” in English, but while the first one is an emotionless statement that simply states the fact, the second one is from your personal and emotional perspective.
- 彼は私を助けた -> He helped me
- 彼は私を助けてくれた -> He did the action of helping me, he took the trouble to help me
“Do for me” is used when there is a sense of appreciation. The below examples are both “the bag dad bought for me”, but almost always the second will be used:
- お父さんが私に買った鞄 ⚠ Technically not a wrong sentence, but practically never used
- お父さんが私に買ってくれた鞄 ❤
- 夫が肩を揉んでくれた -> My husband gave me shoulder massage
- 子供の頃、毎晩お母さんがお話を読んでくれた -> My mom read me stories every night when I was a kid
There are multiple “do for me” with different levels of politeness.
- くれる -> Neural to informal. Literally “give to me”
- 貰う (もらう) -> Neural to informal. Literally “be given”
- 下さる (くださる) -> Polite. Most common. Literally “give to me”
- 頂く (いただく) -> Very polite. Literally “be given”
- 願う (ねがう) -> Literally “wish”, but used like “do for me” when making requests
Note くれる and 下さる are literally “someone gives something to me”, while 貰う and 頂く are “I am given something from someone”. See the below examples for the difference in the sentence structures:
- お父さんが私に買ってくれた鞄
- 私がお父さんに買ってもらった鞄
- 先生が私に教えて下さった調理法 -> The recipe the master taught me
- 私が先生から教えて頂いた調理法 -> The recipe I was taught by, learned from, the master
The below are all “thank you for helping me” with different speech levels
- 助けてくれて有難う -> To peers or lower
- 助けて貰って有難う -> To peers or lower
- 助けて下さって有難う御座いました -> Polite
- 助けて下さり有難う御座いました -> Same with the above, slightly more literary with “下さり” instead of “下さって”
- 助けて頂き有難う御座いました -> Very polite
Requests are almost always made with “do for me”, instead of the imperative forms of verbs. The imperative forms of verbs alone will be only used as very strong commands, or between family members and close friends.
The below are all “stop it” with different level of politeness
- 止めろ -> Very strong. “Cut it out!”. The imperative form of 止める
- 止めて -> Informal, between family members and friends. 止める + て (request ending particle)
- 止めてくれ -> Informal and pretty strong
- 止めてくれる？ -> Informal, between family members and friends. A question as in “Will you stop?”
- 止めて頂戴 -> Informal. Used only by (usually adult) women
- 止めてちょ -> Very informal and/or humorous. The abbreviation of the “止めて頂戴”
- 止めて下さい -> Polite. Most common
- 止めて貰いたい -> Very strong while disguising as polite. “I would like you to stop”
- 止めて貰えますか？-> Polite but pretty firm
- 止めて頂けますか？ -> Very polite. Very common
- 止めて頂きたい -> Polite but very firm. “I would like you to stop”
- お止め願います -> Literary, as in public announcements and notices
- お止め願いたく -> Even more literary than the above
- お止め願えますか？-> Very polite. Less common
“Do for me” will also be used for politely recommending something or encouraging someone, in other words when you are telling someone to do something for himself/herself/themselves, not really for you
- 体には気をつけて下さい -> Please take care of your health
- 試合では頑張って頂きたい -> Please play well in the game. I hope you play well
Lastly “do for me” is often used as an euphemistic way of saying “I will make you do …”. These expressions are euphemistic only in words, and in reality they are direct warnings and/or threats.
- 約束は守ってもらう -> I will make you keep your promise
- お前には死んでもらう -> I will have you die for me. I will kill you
- 責任を取って頂きます -> I will make you take responsibility. I will hold you accountable